Here we go again

I am in a constant battle of thanking God for showing that he's not good for me and asking God for what goodness do we have to met if he only left me another scars?

I always know that coming back to an ex will only left you on the same page; it will never work.

But somehow, I like being on comfort zones. I like seeing familiar faces and having a nostalgic memories. With someone that coming from your past, you just have that special connection that you will never have with anybody else.

I thought God separates us for a reason; to reunite us after we're mature enough to value love so we won't playing around and goofing around-because it is not what I am looking forward. I don't date people who can't convince me that he can be the one for me. The one who will be there supporting every step I will take. The one who will as success as I will. The one that I could build an empire with...

But I was wrong.

He said that he was afraid that he can't give me what I want.

Fuck him. I haven't asked anything yet.

I just ask him to be there by my side while I am by his too. To fight for US.

Is that too much to ask?

He said that he was afraid to hurt me.

Well once again, fuck him. He hurt me already.

Why say that he have faith in me, that he love me, that HE FUCKING WANT ME TO BE HIS LAST when the truth is that he is soon going to left me?

Well, fuck you. Fuck you a hundred billion times.

Despite all my anger, from all lies that  I've ever heard, "You and I" was my favorite.

And your "I love you" is the second one..

I should've know that "us" is a false hope but I choose to believe it anyway.

Because I know if I am willing to fall in love, I would have to feel that pain from falling.

This is the second time you hurted me. I can't believe that I am still as naive as when I was 10 years old. I think that all that "first boyfriend" thingy will make differences-I don't even think of you for years before you pooped up in my Facebook page asking how am I doing. But again, thank you. I know that this will bring something good eventually-I just have to figure it out.

Good bye ex. There will not be the third time.

Xoxo-

Sandya