Okay, maybe I just saw her highlight; I don't really know how she actually live her life or how she accomplished things that she has now. But the point is, reading to her answers make me think, that life is hard (and I am one jealous bitch).
She is (if I'm not mistaken) 25 years old yet she already has a lot type of business, investment, achievement, you name it. Not to mention she now has a boyfriend who is handsome and hardworker and all the shiny-gliterry things which makes you hate your life even more. She gained popularity and what makes me even more jealous is that she is so classy about it; sama sekali ga keliatan alay atau gimana. Yes, sometimes she answered to the question a little bit arrogant but hey, those anons deserve arrogant answers!
Gue jadi mikir. Hidup ini susah. I mean financially, especially now when my family's financial condition is not as good as it used to be. No, we're not broke, since we never really filthy rich anyway, but yeah, we do struggling a little bit.
Or maybe it's just me, realizing that I am such a snobby little bitch who has a very high maintanance (recently) and I am thinking that I will never get enough. On my recent call with my dad, he told me that there is no such thing as "cukup". I guess he's right.
Anyway, that girl I am talking earlier made me realize, life semands us to have so many things to be safe and settle; insurance, investment. We have to have insurance to minimize risk that may occur in the future by transferring the future risk into the present time (yet I still don't understand why I got 54 for my FM subject). Not only health insurance, but also education insurance as well. Who knows how many certification that I want to take in the future?
Second is investment. We have no idea how the economic will be doing the next couple of years. We don't know how much we will generates with all the rumours about pemotongan tunjangan and stuff. We really cannot rely on just one thing. Not to mention about property investment aka future house. I am still that kind of person who thinks that it's not a house if it doesn't stick to the ground. Do you know how much it cost for a metre in Jakarta? I don't. I don't wanna know either because it scares me to d e a t h. I am scared that I will be living in kosan/kontrakan for the rest of my life. Iya kalo tinggal sendiri, at least I'm suffering alone. But I'm not dragging my future child(ern) into the mess I made.
Not to mention about their education. I want to provide the best. My parents always told me that education is number one. They always make a way when it comes to me and my siblings' education. I want to provide my childern the best education that they could have, not the one that I could only afford.
Just thinking about those things gives me shivers.
The older I get, the more I questioned about my dream to be married so young. Will I ever be ready?
I used to dream about a magical wedding. Now I don't anymore, unless I am marrying this country's richest son/grandson. I am thinking that the money could be used for a downpayment for our house. Damn, for a second I am thinking just to have a ceremonial wesding-without ANY kind of reception. But I think that's impossible tho.
Kenapa daritadi gue ga sedikit pun ngomong tentang calon suami? Gue ga mau berharap terlalu banyak. Iya kalau dia dari keluarga kaya 7 turunan, kalau engga? Kerjaan apa sih jaman sekarang bisa bikin bener2 safe, selain mafia? Hell as long as I'm sane, I am not marrying a mafia LOL. Sekeras apapun dia (dan gue) kerja, kalau kita bener-bener mulai dari 0, it will be hard as fudge. Kalau dia sama seperti gue, meaning that I cannot life the live I wanted to be; saving my money just for me. I have to contribute to the family too. I don't know..I'm still too selfish to think that I won't use my money to buy a new Prada bag every month, or spending the holiday to Europe.
Damn, I cannot imagine how hard it is to be my mom. Mama berkorban bertahun-tahun buat mengalah demi kesenangan anak-anaknya. I guess I'm just that selfish huh?
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