2017...
2016 went in a blink of an eye. But one thing for sure, I walked out with happiness.
Maybe because I'm not making any resolutions so that I don't know whether I failed or I succeeded, or maybe because I'm simply happier than last year.
I know that I haven't accomplished anything major this time. But I sure do have purposes. I have goals to be accomplished this year. Not exactly a resolution since I'm not good with that one, consider this as a guideline-if that makes any sense. These lists are the things that I want to do but I have no obligations to ((really)) make it happens. Do you know what I'm saying?
Anyway, if everything goes along the way, I will be graduated by September. With that event, I just wanted to be on the top 100 of my batch. I know I could done better but I've done sooooo much better than people who work their asses day and night and look where I am. But really, I just don't want my parents waiting too long to hear my name being called on graduation. So, guideline #1, to make it on the top 100 of my batch!
Speaking of which, by the end of the year I probably working already and as you know it, I may not have much time for holiday. Therefore, I want to make this year counts. I want to go to as many places as I can this year as my guideline #2. Thailand is waiting, and I'm planning on realizing my trip to Belitung, I also want to search for a friend to go to Banyuwangi, not to mention the last trip with Anti Wacana before God knows where we're going to be next year, and also realizing my Japan dream before graduating (AMIIIIN).
I also want to start taking another major besides this one. I really don't know whether this is the right major for me. I mean, do you really want to choose between learning what you like and learning something that will help you in the future with your work? Regarding this choices, I know a lot of people will asking why. Even my dad asked me what's with the rush. When people asked why now, I told them so I can get married quickly, when I know it has nothing to do with it. I can get married tomorrow if I wanted to-not really-but that's not my point. The truth is? I don't know. One thing for sure, why not now? I know with KTTA and TKD coming my way, this is probably the least of time I want to add something up. But who knows, the next couple of months I decided that I don't want to go to college anymore? What if I'm settling with one diploma degree along my name? Besides, this is the least thing I could do to my future family. My future kids will surely proud having a smart mother. What about scares man away? You heard this before-the man who got intimidated is not the kind of man I wanted to be with. I want somebody that I can build empire with. So, for guideline #3, I hope that both of my college will get along this year, without having to compromise one to the other.
I realized that it will soon come to the time where my parents won't really have much burden on their shoulder. By that time, I will take my parents abroad, whether if it's all the five of us or just me and my parents. I believe that my parents won't ask for me materially. They have so much more than me, money-wise. I understand that the love and the attention is what they needed more. I am asking for my health and my parents' (also my siblings') so that I can have the time and the opportunity to spoil them with the least I can do, whether it's a birthday presents, or just a five-minutes call each day. I know I rarely called them, but I'll make sure I'll call them more this year. And that's guideline #4.
I know this one will be the hardest one but......I wish that I could manage my money more wisely. Meaning, no impulse-buying like what I did just now (buying scented candle just because I was upset a blouse that I wanted to buy yesterday turns out to be sold out). I also have to stop buying designer bag. I have to stop going to Starbucks every weekend (two times every month is allowed, I guess?). I have to stop trying out new places for the sake of social status #panjat lol. It will be good if I could make more money, by teaching (yeah, I have to teach more this year) and by submitting my writing to the magazines(?). Hopefully, that can be a guideline #5
Speaking of which, last but not least, I hope that I still can write. I've lost my ability and the eager to write for a couple of months. Writing is something that I really love. I found peace and clarity when writing, there's nothing more satisfying than completing a piece of writing. So, guideline #6 is to write more and write better.
A lot of things that I'm grateful about 2016.
Me and my family is healthy (except for an occasional flu or else), my parents are trying new business (which is good), my brother seems to be changed for better, my sister got skinnier, I tried to open an online shop (but failed) (that's okay), I FINALLY bought a mirrorless camera, two Kate Spade's handbags, a KedsXTaylorSwift shoes that I've been wanting to buy, a #2 running shoes by runrepeat aka Nike Air Zoom Elite 8, a Giorgio Armani Si, and a lot more. No wonder I cashed out all of my savings. But hey, I'm happy! (for a while) (not really)
Love wise....I don't see that it will be improving anytime soon. I almost called sassy but I was thinking, "I don't know where will I be next year. I'm not risking my second chances if I'm not 100% sure. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this right, by any means possible," if next year I still in Jakarta, then I will call him and we'll see what happens next. I'm not sure I will back with him, but at least I will have the clarity that I'm searching lately. If he's with someone by that time, than I won't bother him. Maybe this is just how things going to be and I will accept it. In the mean time, I'm not planning on getting close with somebody else. I'm tired of explaining myself to other people. I'm tired having the emotional play along the way. And what if, one day he decided that I'm too much to handle and he can't take it anymore? Just like what sassy did......
This afternoon, one of my friend asked, "what does it like, Sand? To be single for three years. Don't you miss dating?"
The truth is, define dating. If dating means that you have someone to go out every Saturday night, then I have it already. But what I really need is someone to run into at the end of the day to tell how my day was, without looking too needy or attached. I mean, I can do it freely with someone I'm being with. But with someone I'm not, I don't want to give the wrong impression.
Being alone for too long is like having your personal space for too long. Once someone come closer, you will feel annoyed. You don't know what to do; whether to hug him or to push him further. You really don't know what impact will bring from each of your actions.
For now, I like having no strings-attached. I could see what the world could offer. I know exactly what kind of man I want to be with. I am willing to compromise until a certain amount of limit. Excessing that, I don't think that is the kind of man I want to be waking up next to for the rest of my life. If there's any boy that can make me compromising beyond that, you can only find two among millions on the milky way galaxy.
Aaaaaanywaaaay, enough mumbling about cheesy love story of mine. You know it won't go far from that :p The point is, 2016 might not be the best, but sure as hell it wasn't the worst. And 2017, I might not fully ready, but let's just bring it on and see what I can do this year!
0
2016 went in a blink of an eye. But one thing for sure, I walked out with happiness.
Maybe because I'm not making any resolutions so that I don't know whether I failed or I succeeded, or maybe because I'm simply happier than last year.
I know that I haven't accomplished anything major this time. But I sure do have purposes. I have goals to be accomplished this year. Not exactly a resolution since I'm not good with that one, consider this as a guideline-if that makes any sense. These lists are the things that I want to do but I have no obligations to ((really)) make it happens. Do you know what I'm saying?
Anyway, if everything goes along the way, I will be graduated by September. With that event, I just wanted to be on the top 100 of my batch. I know I could done better but I've done sooooo much better than people who work their asses day and night and look where I am. But really, I just don't want my parents waiting too long to hear my name being called on graduation. So, guideline #1, to make it on the top 100 of my batch!
Speaking of which, by the end of the year I probably working already and as you know it, I may not have much time for holiday. Therefore, I want to make this year counts. I want to go to as many places as I can this year as my guideline #2. Thailand is waiting, and I'm planning on realizing my trip to Belitung, I also want to search for a friend to go to Banyuwangi, not to mention the last trip with Anti Wacana before God knows where we're going to be next year, and also realizing my Japan dream before graduating (AMIIIIN).
I also want to start taking another major besides this one. I really don't know whether this is the right major for me. I mean, do you really want to choose between learning what you like and learning something that will help you in the future with your work? Regarding this choices, I know a lot of people will asking why. Even my dad asked me what's with the rush. When people asked why now, I told them so I can get married quickly, when I know it has nothing to do with it. I can get married tomorrow if I wanted to-not really-but that's not my point. The truth is? I don't know. One thing for sure, why not now? I know with KTTA and TKD coming my way, this is probably the least of time I want to add something up. But who knows, the next couple of months I decided that I don't want to go to college anymore? What if I'm settling with one diploma degree along my name? Besides, this is the least thing I could do to my future family. My future kids will surely proud having a smart mother. What about scares man away? You heard this before-the man who got intimidated is not the kind of man I wanted to be with. I want somebody that I can build empire with. So, for guideline #3, I hope that both of my college will get along this year, without having to compromise one to the other.
I realized that it will soon come to the time where my parents won't really have much burden on their shoulder. By that time, I will take my parents abroad, whether if it's all the five of us or just me and my parents. I believe that my parents won't ask for me materially. They have so much more than me, money-wise. I understand that the love and the attention is what they needed more. I am asking for my health and my parents' (also my siblings') so that I can have the time and the opportunity to spoil them with the least I can do, whether it's a birthday presents, or just a five-minutes call each day. I know I rarely called them, but I'll make sure I'll call them more this year. And that's guideline #4.
I know this one will be the hardest one but......I wish that I could manage my money more wisely. Meaning, no impulse-buying like what I did just now (buying scented candle just because I was upset a blouse that I wanted to buy yesterday turns out to be sold out). I also have to stop buying designer bag. I have to stop going to Starbucks every weekend (two times every month is allowed, I guess?). I have to stop trying out new places for the sake of social status #panjat lol. It will be good if I could make more money, by teaching (yeah, I have to teach more this year) and by submitting my writing to the magazines(?). Hopefully, that can be a guideline #5
Speaking of which, last but not least, I hope that I still can write. I've lost my ability and the eager to write for a couple of months. Writing is something that I really love. I found peace and clarity when writing, there's nothing more satisfying than completing a piece of writing. So, guideline #6 is to write more and write better.
A lot of things that I'm grateful about 2016.
Me and my family is healthy (except for an occasional flu or else), my parents are trying new business (which is good), my brother seems to be changed for better, my sister got skinnier, I tried to open an online shop (but failed) (that's okay), I FINALLY bought a mirrorless camera, two Kate Spade's handbags, a KedsXTaylorSwift shoes that I've been wanting to buy, a #2 running shoes by runrepeat aka Nike Air Zoom Elite 8, a Giorgio Armani Si, and a lot more. No wonder I cashed out all of my savings. But hey, I'm happy! (for a while) (not really)
Love wise....I don't see that it will be improving anytime soon. I almost called sassy but I was thinking, "I don't know where will I be next year. I'm not risking my second chances if I'm not 100% sure. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this right, by any means possible," if next year I still in Jakarta, then I will call him and we'll see what happens next. I'm not sure I will back with him, but at least I will have the clarity that I'm searching lately. If he's with someone by that time, than I won't bother him. Maybe this is just how things going to be and I will accept it. In the mean time, I'm not planning on getting close with somebody else. I'm tired of explaining myself to other people. I'm tired having the emotional play along the way. And what if, one day he decided that I'm too much to handle and he can't take it anymore? Just like what sassy did......
This afternoon, one of my friend asked, "what does it like, Sand? To be single for three years. Don't you miss dating?"
The truth is, define dating. If dating means that you have someone to go out every Saturday night, then I have it already. But what I really need is someone to run into at the end of the day to tell how my day was, without looking too needy or attached. I mean, I can do it freely with someone I'm being with. But with someone I'm not, I don't want to give the wrong impression.
Being alone for too long is like having your personal space for too long. Once someone come closer, you will feel annoyed. You don't know what to do; whether to hug him or to push him further. You really don't know what impact will bring from each of your actions.
For now, I like having no strings-attached. I could see what the world could offer. I know exactly what kind of man I want to be with. I am willing to compromise until a certain amount of limit. Excessing that, I don't think that is the kind of man I want to be waking up next to for the rest of my life. If there's any boy that can make me compromising beyond that, you can only find two among millions on the milky way galaxy.
Aaaaaanywaaaay, enough mumbling about cheesy love story of mine. You know it won't go far from that :p The point is, 2016 might not be the best, but sure as hell it wasn't the worst. And 2017, I might not fully ready, but let's just bring it on and see what I can do this year!
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| new haircut for new year? lol not really |
